Weblog
Wednesday, 10 September 2008
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"To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach for another is to risk involvement.
To expose your feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To believe is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
They may avoid suffering an d sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live.
Chained by their attitudes they are slaves; they have forfeited their freedom.
Only a person who risks is free."
I am realizing that if I want to be a person who truly lives life to the fullest, I must risk.
Recently, I haven't been able to risk much, especially in relationships. It's difficult to trust others with the inner workings of my heart, because there's no guarantee that they'll use it wisely. Throughout college, the mantra was always, "Risk all for others." I experienced the joy and freedom that such risk entails, but I've also experienced the pain of broken trust, of unfulfilled promises, of love not only lost, but spat back in my face. And these memories stand constant vigil over the depths of my heart, standing guard over my thoughts and actions. And as the depths of my heart are guarded against any sort of breaches, the streams run a little thinner, the waves of my heart grow still. So when I find someone who might possibly awaken these still waters, how do I open up? How do I relieve these silent gatekeepers of their duty? How do I relinquish control of my heart to someone who is under no obligation to treat it well?
More to come later...
Monday, 01 September 2008
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Obligatory UCLA Football Post
After a game like that, xanga should be exploding with tons of posts about how amazing our coaching staff is. I will concur.
Life is on an upswing, supposedly.
I am 25.
That is all.
Thursday, 15 May 2008
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Psalm 17:6-8
I call on you, O God, for you will answer me;
give ear to me and hear my prayer.
Show the wonder of your great love,
you who save by your right hand
those who take refuge in you from their foes.
Keep me as the apple of your eye;
hide me in the shadow of your wings
Psalm 17:6-8
(I have a small bookmark of this hanging on my cubicle wall... I need to read it and believe it much more than I currently do)
Tuesday, 29 April 2008
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Motivations
Last Monday (04-21-2008), I started a workout program called P90X. The general outline of this program is that I will be doing 90 days of an intensive workout. Each day involves 1 to 1.5 hours of "extreme" workouts. I've been waking up at 5:45 in order to get these workouts done and still make it to work on time. Below are some short descriptions of a few of the workouts.
-Back and Chest: Last time (Monday) I did 40 pull-ups (with a little help from a chair) and over 75 push-ups. This superset chest-and-back-blasting workout emphasizes two classic upper-body exercises, push-ups and pull-ups, to build strength and develop shape. The combination of these two push and pull movements will help you burn loads of calories while simultaneously attacking, strengthening, and developing multiple muscle groups.
-Plyometrics: Jumping and more jumping... I hope my neighbor downstairs doesn't start complaining too much! Get ready to go airborne. With over 30 explosive jumping moves, you won't be spending much time on the ground during this highly intense cardio routine. Plyometrics, also known as jump training, has been proven to dramatically improve athletic performance. If your sport involves a ring, rink, field, court, or track, then this training will give you the edge. Just be prepared to "Bring It" for a full hour when you leap into this workout, because there is no letting up.
-Legs and Back: My legs are one of the weak points in my body, and this workout lets me know it! I definitely feel them burning on this one. Get ready to squat, lunge, and pull for a total-body workout like no other. While the main focus of this workout lies in strengthening and developing the leg muscles (quads, hamstrings, glutes, and calves), there's also a handful of great pull-up exercises to give your legs a quick breather while you work the upper body.
-Kenpo X: A whole lot of punching and kicking... Kenpo X was created to give P90X users a high-intensity cardiovascular workout packed with lots of punching and kicking combinations to improve balance, endurance, flexibility, and coordination. During this workout you'll learn some of the most effective ways to defend yourself, while at the same time getting your body in peak condition.
-Ab Ripper X: Ab Ripper X, which I do 3 times a week in addition to the "regular" exercises. This is only a 15 minute workout, but it incorporates 339 Ab and Core exercises... Extreme. The combination and sequence of movements in this unique workout taps into not only abdominal strength, but true core strength as well. Master these 11 highly effective exercises and you will achieve vital abdominal muscle strength to benefit your overall health and physical performance. You'll also develop that highly coveted 6-pack as you take Ab Ripper X to full throttle. It's extreme work that's better than any machine in any club.
"So Topher, why are you letting us know this?"
That's a good question! Well, first I wanted to let you know of one way that I am trying to change myself. Second, I wanted to spend some time talking about motivation. Every morning, I have to ask myself, "Why would I want to give up what little sleep I have to do something that causes much pain and soreness?"
"So Topher, what is your motivation?"
I am being truthful when I say things like the following:
-To get into shape
-To feel/become healthier
-To be able to to more things where my size will not limit my participation.
But, I would be holding out a large factor of my motivation if I did not include the following.
-I am doing it for Her.
Now, don't get me wrong here... I'm not doing some hippie thing and saying that God is a woman or anything... the capital "H" is there because I am doing this for Her...
The woman that will fall in love with me. I honestly don't know who She is (though there is someone I want Her to be), but I do know at least one thing about Her. She will fall in love with me because of my kindness, my heart for others, my humor, my passions, my faith, and my body, not "in spite of" my body. I want her to be able to enjoy me for all aspects of who I am. Ideally, there will be no "in spite of's," but I know that I'm not perfect, and there are character flaws that She will have to accept. But my size is something I (can) have control over. So I am going to try...
On a less "romantic" and more practical side, I also want to be with/for Her for a long time... being and staying healthy is a great way (although, by no means a guarantee) to help lengthen my life.
Ok, so those are some of my thoughts... You are more than welcome to disagree (and please voice your opinions), but I just wanted to be honest with myself on why I am doing what I'm doing... Also, I'm taking applications if you think that you might just be Her.
ps. if you want more information on P90X, just give me a call!
Sunday, 30 March 2008
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Around the world...
Since it's built into xanga, I thought I would enlighten you to who (else) is reading this site...
So I thought I'd give a shout-out to all the random visitors from all over the world...
Whoever visits my site from:
Belgium: I hope you can read english, and I might try to learn a phrase or two in German, just for you! (by the way, I love Belgium beer)
California: Well, since 98% of all the people I know are from Cali, um... just call me suckas!
Hawaii: I will (hopefully) be going out to Hawaii sometime in 2009, so hit me up if you want me to visit
France: Bonjour! Take a picture next to the Eiffel Tower for me, will ya?
New Jersey: Jason, are you checking up on my xanga?
Ohio: Hello Buckeyes!
United States: Nothing like being specific, eh xanga?
Germany: Please see Belgium.
Hong Kong: Check out the Olympics for me
Washington: Is it true that Washingtonians hate Californians for moving up there and driving up real estate prices?
Virginia: Do I know anyone from Virginia? I don't know...
Georgia: I think one of my cousins from my dad's side lives in Georgia.
So, my (few) loyal readers, let me know who it is that is actually visiting me...
所以,我的(少数)的忠实读者,让我知道是什么人,这实际上是来访我...
Donc, mes (quelques) fidèles lecteurs, je voudrais savoir qui c'est qui est en fait la visite moi ...
Also, meine (wenigen) treuen Leserinnen und Leser, lassen Sie mich wissen, wer es ist, das mich tatsächlich besuchen ...
(thanks my friend, Google Translate)
komo
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